Practice Final Exam Problems – Sentence Combining and Coherence

A.        Before combining

The sentences in this paragraph are bracketed to signal coherence. Explain why the brackets are where they are.

 

           {   For several years, my husband fought to persuade the Mexican government not to build the world’s largest saltworks in San Ignacio Lagoon.  The Mexican government was in partnership with Mitsubishi Corporation.  San Ignacio Lagoon is a bay in southern Baja where gray whales come each year.  The whales breed and calve and nurse their young.  This was an argument he ultimately won. }  { Each year, we visited the lagoon.  There, the gray whales swim up to the little dories.  The dories are called pangas. }  { The mothers push their babies up to the pangas.  They let you touch them and pat them.  Sometimes they even let you put your arm in their mouths and scratch their hairy, smelly tongues.  }  { We slept in tents and listened to them at night.  }

 

B.        After combining

Compare the “smooth” paragraph below with the “choppy” version above.  Identify words that were added, moved, or changed to create correct clause-combining grammar.  Identify clause-combining strategies by their technical names.

 

For several years, my husband fought to persuade the Mexican government, which was in partnership with Mitsubishi Corp., not to build the world’s largest saltworks in San Ignacio Lagoon, a bay in southern Baja where gray whales come each year to breed and calve and nurse their young (an argument he ultimately won).  Each year, we visited the lagoon where the gray whales swim up to the little dories, called pangas.  The mothers push their babies up to the pangas and let you touch them, pat them, sometimes even put your arm in their mouths and scratch their hairy, smelly tongues.  We slept in tents and listened to them at night. 

 

C.        You place the brackets

Some short, choppy sentences need to be combined.  Put brackets where sentences should be combined.  Hint: the best solution involves five pairs of brackets.  Not every sentence needs to be bracketed with another sentence.

 

I arrive at the plant the following Tuesday.  I am ready for work.  The plant is massive. Its exterior is put together much like the Job Centerquickly, cheaply, and piece by piece.   At 3 p.m. sharp, Javier gathers up the new recruits.  He is my orientation leader.  He escorts us into a small classroom.  The classroom contains a prominently displayed sign.  "Democracies depend on the political participation of its citizens, but not in the workplace."   It is written in both English and Spanish.   The message is clear in any language.

 

D.        You combine

Find (a) one place where a comma must be changed to a semicolon, (b) one place where and must be inserted after a comma, (c) one sentence where of the and who can be added to combine sentences, (c) one sentence where who and did so because can be added to combine sentences, and (d) one comma that must be deleted. 

 

My co-workers on Saw Lines 1 and 2, are an interesting and diverse bunch. _____ 20 or so workers _____ keep the lines running, two (excluding myself) are white Americans. Most white workers left area poultry plants during the region's economic boom of the 1990s, those who remain tend to fall into two categories.  An older group has been working at Tyson for more than 20 years, they have found a niche and hang on to the benefits that seniority bestows. A few white workers _____ started at Tyson more recently _____ poultry is one of their few options.